Little Mrs. Brightside.

It’s a stressful life. The bad news? That’s life. We live imperfectly in an imperfect world and basicly put, shit happens. I could say stuff happens, unpleasant things unfold or any arrangement of other words here, but when the waves are crashing in and threatening to pull you into the undertow, you won’t hear yourself say, “well look at the unpleasant wave coming my way”. No, I am most certain that “shit” will be at the forefront of the vault of your vocabulary.

And I repeat, it’s a stressful life. The good news? It’s a stressful life. Perhaps I am stretching the silver lining theory here, but out of much stress, division and even hyperventilating, we may find oursleves strong, empowered and, dare I say it? Thankful for the uphill climb. We may just find ourselves with blessings we would not otherwise know, if it weren’t for the struggle.

The past few years have brought myself and my family a house fire, a scary spinal surgery on my then 11 year old daughter, serious hospital stays for both my folks and my husbands folks, health issues for my husband, family struggles and just regular day to day stuff.

But, and here I will emphasize ‘but’, there are silver linings to all of this. It has taken me becoming angry, tired and a bit bitter to be able to stop and pause. I didn’t like what I was becoming, all the inconveniences in life were making me into an ugly person I didn’t want to be or become. I still struggle with that, the more life throws at me the more calloused I become. Sometimes, you have to force yourself to see.

And so I see.

Yes, our shotgun apartment caught fire and we were without electricity for two weeks and someone stole all the copper wiring from beneath the house while it was being repaired, setting us without electricity for three weeks instead, BUT I was able to experience the helpfulness and concern of total strangers in New Orleans, in the hood of New Orleans, which restored a bit of my faith in humanity. By this fire happening, we made some decisions that we had put off, thus landing us in Illinois, now owning a tattoo shop.

This in turn provided as with a top spinal surgeon and specialist in childhood scoliosis to operate successfully on our daughter’s two curves. This happened by meeting a random person here who put us in touch with the Shriners Hospital in Chicago AND it was free of cost. We didn’t have to pay a cent. I will be forever thankful to them for this great blessing to us. By having the surgery in Chicago, my mom was able to come up with me and Hattie while the surgery was being done, allowing my husband to stay here and work so that we wouldn’t be too strapped. Another HUGE blessing. I was grumpy as hell and stressed and my mom helped out so much. My cousin Crystal volunteered her services to watch our son Odin during the day while my husband worked, free of charge, once again a GIGANTIC blessing.  

It’s hard to find the silver lining to your parents being in the hospital. There are many things in life that hide the small blessings. So here, I will simply say that they recovered, more knowledgeable about their health and are home living life. It could have gone another direction, but it didn’t. I could stress out on what could have been but instead I choose to focus on the future. When the real issues come back, I won’t be shouldering the days, weeks, month or years of the past, I can take it as it comes, rested and ready to fight.

My husbands health has been another issue, he has incredibly high cholesterol and he is pre diabetic. Though these are small in comparison to someone elses’ health issues, it has made us come together and re-evaluate life and diet and full on charge this hill. As much as this sucks, this fight draws together , strengthening our bond as friends, lovers, and life partners.

The point, every day holds new struggles, some big and some small. Some days I want to lay down, i want to close the door and block out the noise, the voices and just sleep. But, sleep profits no man in the midst of things needing to be taken care of. Though tired we have to go through what we have to go through. Just when we think it’s all over and we want to shut our eyes, if we take one moment to look closer, we can and will see the good evolving and shaping it’s self out of the bad. It’s a matter of perception, you just have to shift focus.

So, today I close my eyes and let the rain hit my eyelashes, squint through the dark and see the lights become beautiful hues of blue, green and red. Not ignoring the bad, I simply let me view be changed.

Hello, nice to meet you, I’m Mrs. Brightside.

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