We all have a moral code that we live by, whether it is one we knowingly strive for or one that we fall to by default. I strive to pass onto my children those things I believe to be right in the hopes that they too will try to the best of their ability to live by them, not for the sake of being good but to act as a compass when everything around them seems futile.
Sometimes, our teachings bite us in the ass.
Dilemmas arise where you have to make a decision whether to listen to what you have said or do an equally right thing. My daughter was faced today with one such predicament. Parenthood is full of surprises.
The situation was as follows. My daughter is not allowed to chat online. I forbid it. I know some parents see no reason why their child should not speak to other kids online, especially when it’s a well-known place such as Nick.com or Disney. I however, do not. Having been around the world and having seen many things, I simply will not trust that it is a 11-year-old girl behind a computer half way across America. So, she is not allowed to chat.
Today she told me that she had been chatting with a “friend” of hers on Nick.com. Through the course of talking with her I found that she chatted because there was a girl being cyber-bullied (ridiculous term no matter how fitting). She wanted to make sure she was okay, having been bullied herself a couple of times. Kids can be the most wicked of creatures and yet sometimes the most generous and surprising.
Though she knew she was not allowed to chat, she wanted to console another girl. So as a parent what does one do? On one hand I was and am angry that she would disregard my instruction, and I don’t mince words with her, she knows my reason for not allowing her to talk online. On the other, I am proud of her for trying to help some one and realizing that it could be a right thing to do.
And here, I can be assured that at least some of what I am trying to pass on to my child is being heard and lived out.
That makes me proud of my daughter.
“Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what’s right.” ~Isaac Asimov