I have a cup of coffee, a cigar, red beans and rice cooking on the stove, it’s raining and I have two children otherwise peacefully occupied. This is aperfect moment to blog.
While I had intended on writing on another topic all together from the one I am about to lay down on this here computer, what I have chosen is more pertinent for today I think. At least for ‘my’ today.
I woke up to coffee made, oatmeal made and my daughter with a card in hand. She notified me that it was ‘Mom Relax Day’. Now for those of you rushing to your calenders let me be the first to tell you, this holiday does not exist. My daughter made it up. She awoke earlier than I and decided to do this. It could have been a well layed plan to side track me from her regular daily school studies or it could have been that she was just trying to be very kind and helpful. For whatever reason it was, it worked. Instead of our daily routine, we skipped school and ran errands and then came home to bake cookies and make coffee, then we relaxed.
Mentally it has been a difficult week for me, battling things around me and worrying about circumstances beyond my control. My very stoic belief in not dictating the things outside my realm of control has failed me and I found myself focusing on all the shit, rather than on the big picture.
While out running errands with my children, my daughter said she couldn’t wait to be an adult because it seemed like so much fun. Ha! I thought. Instead of laughing I said that she needed to enjoy her moments as a 10 year old and not focus on being older because we never get back a day in our life. Today is lived, tommorrow will be lived and in 2 days time, both will be over with, never to be recaptured, so we need to be happy where we are.
As I spoke these words, I realized what a hypocrite I was being, so I chose to get over my self and my feelings and emotions and live the day with happiness, in-spite of all the crappy things that can try to infiltrate our lives with their saccharin ways.We bought cookie making things and we came home and I let my worries drop by the way side. It is not easily done, especially when you still have to deal with reality, you can not push it aside or forget about it. That is no reason, however, that you can’t have a cookie and enjoy what you have. Once the emotions are properly assigned, have a good time and deal with things when they come.
My Grandma Seibert said once when she was very young ” I can’t walk for all the damn flowers.” Sometimes life eats us up so much that we focus on all the small things in our way and we deny ourselves the beauty of the field before us. It’s the same idea of not being able to see the forest for the trees.
Though my worries will still be there, I will not allow myself to be so hung up in them that it takes away the joy of being with my kids every day, having the privilege to live the way I do and the opportunity to be more.
So yes dear daughter, being adult can be fun, if we only approach it wisely and if we just let it. No worry is big enough to take away the happiness that is your home and family.
Wishing all a happy day.