Once Upon a Time…

*If talking about poop makes you icky, do not read further!

 

……….I was a terribly unhealthy vegetarian.

 

What I mean is my diet consisted largely of M&M’s, cereal (Apple Jacks and Total), Large quantities of whole milk, eggs, carrots and bacon. Okay, bacon isn’t a vegetable and neither is eggs but those are two that I love and could not live without.  Once I was married……..

…..I expanded my tastes. No longer was I a Vegetable loving fool, I also loved steak, rare and bleeding, Chicken and even pork. Then I became experimental, eating any kind of meat that I could. I wanted a rounded pallet, if there is such a thing. So I ate everything  that previously, I would have thrown up in my mouth to have even smelled.

Recently we decided to clean out our systems. We used a product called Colon Blow to help with that area. Uh What?! What IS that?! Well it cleans you out and friends, all I will say is, that shit wasn’t normal, literally. My “releases”, as we will call them, were odd, I mean the wrong color and smell. That tells me I need to clean shop! ( about now you are wondering, WTF?! Why do I read this lady?)

So what now? The next step is back to being a(n) (almost) vegetarian…. with some bacon and eggs on the side….and perhaps some steak now and again.  My husband, in the past, has been one too, though his were dietary reasons and technically he should have never gone off of the said diet.

So this will be an adventure for both of us. As I relayed in an email to a friend, all of a sudden the veggies look like aliens. I don’t know what to do with them! They may as well start dancing and singing because all I can do is stare at them while inside my head I am saying, ” Stay calm! It’s only a carrot…and a pea…and some rice…and a bell pepper! You can do this!” And then that is repeated over and over again in my head until I have to sit down and drink coffee to calm my nerves.

We also steer clear of cheese and flour and potatoes (exc.. sweet potatoes), this will truly be interesting.

Pray for my soul and sanity.

My next blog will be on my new award! I am so excited!!!!! Woo-Hoo! And this is another abrupt ending to my blog.

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9 thoughts on “Once Upon a Time…

    • I love meat too but I do love a lot of veggies and so it should be a fairly easy switch once I get the cooking thing down, which is the worst part because I have no idea how to make a meal out of just veggies and grains. God help me.

  1. Good luck! I actually wouldn’t mind being vegetarian, with an occasional meat splurge. But my poor hubby likes meat with a side of meat for dinner many nights, KWIM? Soooo…I haven’t really tried to make it work. But I do love a lot of vegetarian recipes. I’ve got some great ones to share with you!

    • Yeah Dale is a meat lover as well but he hasn’t felt the best so we are cleaning out the systems. I am like you I could easily eat vegetarian so long as I could have a nice greasy cheeseburger now and then;) Can’t wait to see the recipes!

  2. Dude..Thai food. That’s where it’s at.

    Before I married Adam I was a cheeseburger/paps johns lady (you know this to be a fact). Then when we got together he started doing all the cooking. Lots of Asian stuff, specifically Thai. Very veggie, very delicious.

    No way in hell I could give up mah chicken and bacon, BUT I’ve supplemented LOTS more veggies by way of his cooking. Plus, spicy and sweet are my favorite flavors. Pick up a good Thai cookbook if that’s your thing. PLUS, a lot of the ingredients you can grow in a home garden which also saves on some cash.

  3. New diets can be scary. My daughter and I both have Celiac disease and with as sick as we’ve both been we have had to be on a strict gluten free diet. It was a complete over haul and was frightening. But here we are almost 2 years later and we are still alive.

    Good luck with it all. Besides, you can always make an aluminum foil hat so you can communicate with those alien vegetables!

    • Too true about the aluminum foil! Haha!

      A good friend of mine has celiac as well. Her husband has it too so I quickly learned how to cook and bake minus all the wheat etc. I really prefer it now and we do not keep “regular” flour in the house. I do not have to be as careful as a celiac, checking to make sure my oats were made in a gluten free facility etc, but I try to stay away from it as much as possible and honestly I feel better without it. Plus the pasta is awesome! It is much more filling too.

  4. Ok, so my computer was broken (oh was it ever) and I got woefully behind in my blog posting and following. I just read this and all I can think of right now is… You willingly took something called “Colon Blow”?
    LOL!!! 🙂

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